


Have You Ever Loved a Woman

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-08-23
Updated: 2007-08-23
Packaged: 2019-01-19 20:29:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12417585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Deathly Hallows spoilers! Oneshot. Snape arrives univited at Lily and James's wedding, only wishing to talk with Lily one last time.





	Have You Ever Loved a Woman

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

  **Disclaimer:** I don't own Lily, James and Snape. JK Rowling does.

**Warning:** Deathly Hallows spoilers.

**Note:** please review! Thanks.

 

It was Lily and James’s wedding day. Of course, Snape had not been invited. He knew he had to leave Lily alone; he had come to tell her that. He had cast a spell on himself so that he would not be seen. He stood in silence, watching the party that was taking place in the garden of Lily and James’s home, in Godric’s Hollow. There were about forty people, all of them from the Order of the Phoenix, eating and laughing and dancing to Muggle and wizards’ songs alike. 

Snape decided to send Lily a message saying, “Please come meet me by the river, I want to say good-bye.”

A Muggle singer was singing: “Have you ever loved a woman so much you tremble in pain? And all the time you know she bears another man's name.” Snape had always appreciated irony. 

To produce his Patronus, Snape thought of the happiest day of his life: the day when, many years ago, Lily had hugged him. They were twelve at the time, and Lily had hugged him goodbye at King’s Cross before leaving with her parents. This friendly embrace Lily had given him was the only moment in his life when he had been truly happy, when he had wanted time to stop to be able to stay longer in her arms. 

As Snape watched the silver doe float towards Lily, he could no longer hear the music or the people talking and laughing. Lily and James watched in surprise as the doe delivered its message. Lily looked around for Snape, who couldn’t quite decipher her expression. With a jolt of satisfaction he saw Lily say a few words to James. She would come.

“But you just love that woman so much it's a shame and a sin,” whined the singer. 

He would speak to her again. He had dreaded that moment, the moment when he would have to say good-bye to her. He knew she didn’t want to see him again, not after she’d married his best enemy. 

Lily Disapparated, leaving her husband to frown after her. Snape smiled slightly; she remembered. She knew what he’d meant by “the river”. It was the river in the small forest close to where they used to live. It was the river by which he had told her everything he knew about Hogwarts and magic and she had listened to him eagerly, it was the place where they had become friends. It was the place where he had fallen in love with her. Snape Disapparated too and sighed as he looked around the thicket of trees. There she was, leaning against the tree, an odd sight indeed with her wedding dress. 

“Lily,” he called softly.

She turned to him and blinked a few times before saying quietly, “Severus.”

He liked it when she said his name. He had missed her so much, having not talked to her in two years, since they had left Hogwarts. There was a war now, and they were on different sides. He hoped that she knew he would never let anyone hurt her.

“I just wanted to say good-bye,” Snape said.

He sounded like he was apologizing; unconsciously, was he regretting that he was troubling her peace, that he was bothering her on her wedding day? Still, it was worth it. 

She smiled a little sadly. “As you see, I have come. It is the last time, Severus.”

“I know,” he replied bitterly. 

For a while they just stared at each other in silence. Snape stood where he had Apparated, feet away from her. He did not want to scare her.

“Congratulations, by the way,” Snape suddenly said.

Lily frowned. “Congratulations?”

“For your wedding,” Snape explained darkly. 

“Oh yes,” Lily blushed slightly. “Thank you.”

She looked troubled as she turned her head to gaze at the river below. She knew. He had not wanted her to know how he felt.

“Don’t feel guilty,” Snape said slowly. “I want you to be happy. I perfectly know I cannot make you happy.”

“Oh, Severus,” Lily whispered, her eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry –” 

“Don’t,” Snape interrupted her harshly. “Don’t say that.”

He watched as she wiped away her tears and took a deep breath.

“I want to keep a good memory of you,” Snape said. “Please smile.”

The green eyes that he loved so much looked up at him and, with a great effort, Lily smiled. He stared at her, his face whiter than ever. He took a few steps towards her. 

“I will leave you alone, Lily,” Snape promised. 

“I know you will,” Lily nodded, and there was no hint of emotion in her voice now.

“I want you to be happy,” Snape repeated. 

It pained him to think that she would be happy with James Potter, but his love for her was beyond petty jealousy. 

“I will be.”

That was Lily’s promise to him. And, as he looked into her emerald eyes, Snape knew that she would keep her promise.

“Goodbye, Lily.”

Snape Disapparated before she could see the tears in his eyes, before she could say anything. Lily smiled sadly again, still staring at the spot from which he had vanished, aware of the sacrifice Snape had just made for her and feeling that she was the only one who knew the true Severus Snape. 


End file.
